blonde girl in a restaurant

It was very crowded and noise in this Restaurant and this blond girl asks the waiter where the restroom was. And he says: - I can’t hear you! So she gets close to his ear and asks again: - Can you please tell me where the ladies room is? And he replies: - On the other side! So she turns around and gets close to his other ear, and asks:-Can you please tell me where the ladies room is, please!

And he answers: - On the other side!

Answer paper of santa

Brilliant Answers by Banta but the teacher gave him '0' marks only... :((

Q- In which battle did Tipu Sultan die?

Facebook Status of Animals?

If animals have Facebook, these are most likely to be their Status Updates:

Cockroach: Managed to skip from some one’s foot step.. Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle! :P

Chicken: If tomorrow I am not updating my status, means I am being served at KFC. Love you all ♥

Octopus: I have just refilled my ink..horray!! ^_^

Pig: Oh gosh they throw the gossips that I am spreading flu…WTF!! :X

Goat : Friends, don’t go out, Eid holiday is coming :'(

Pig writes a comment on Goat’s status: "Luckily I am haram" |4 likes (Y)|

Goat replies: "Don’t you remember that after Eid is the Chinese new year..

National Anthem of Nepal modified for Politicians

सयौं खाले नेता हामी एउटै पद सभासद ।
देश बेच्छौं पेट पाल्छौं अनि बन्छौं गदगद ।।

प्रकृतिका कोटी कोटी पापिष्टका नायक,
नाङ्गो नाच देखाउने लोकतन्त्रका गायक ।

ज्ञान शून्य शान्ति शून्य महिषासुरका सन्तान,
लाउन हुन्न खान हुन्न किन चाहियो विधान -

जे गरे नि चुपै बस्ने जनता छन् कमाल,
हाम्ले चुसी खोक्रो भएको जय जय नेपाल ।।

Water Survey Result

BUT few people who drinks poison survives... :D

Difference between boys and girls

Please post your feedback?

Psychiatrist and patient with wired dreams

A guy tells his psychiatrist,
“I always have this weird dream at night. 
I am locked in a room with a door on which there is a sign. 
I try to push it with all my strength, but no matter how hard I try, it won’t budge."


The psychiatrist muses, “Interesting." 


But tell me what does the sign on the door say? 

Boss and Secretary

BOSS to secretory:for 1 week we'll go aboard

She calls husband :for a week,i and boss r going abroad

Husband calls GF :wife going,lets enjoy

GF calls her student:for one week,you're free

Little boy calls grandpa:i'm free for 1 week

Hair cut of a ghost

A ghost went to the barber for a haircut. The barber said, "I am very busy now. Come back after a few hours".

Bankers concious

One day in New York City, a banker was driving his new Jaguar down the streets. He parked it and opened the door to get out. Suddenly a taxi went by and ripped the door off. The driver reported this to a nearby police officer. 

Learning french

A boy was having a lot of difficulty in French class. To encourage him, his teacher said, "You'll know you're really beginning to get it when you start dreaming in French."

Daddy, how was I born?

Daddy, how was I born?

'Well, son, Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other.

Friends invitation for dinner

Husband: I invited a friend for dinner.
Wife: what? Are you crazy?The house is a mess and I can't cook meal. 

Husband: I know that all
Wife: Then why did you invite him?

Change of generation

Many years ago:


Kids used to read books, 
now they are busy reading facebook,

they used to practice maths additions,substractions, 
now they only add using google+,

used to play by collecting match boxes,

An interview a girl takes with a a boy

♥♥♥♥♥
Boy: Marry me.. ?
Girl: Do you have a house.. ?
Boy: No..
Girl: Do you have a BMW car?
Boy: No..
Girl: How much is your salary.. ?

The most Elastic Element of the World..

The most Elastic Element of the World...
"TIME"
It maximizes

What happens when donkey wins a race

A servant enrolled his donkey in a race & won.
Local paper read: 'SERVANT's ASS WON'.
The king was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the servant to get rid of the donkey. ...He gave the donkey to the queen.
The local paper then read: 

Remix of Ba Ba Black Sheep

Ba Ba bastard
Have u any kids?
Yes Sir Yes Sir
3 little kids,
1 from my neighbor,

1 from my maid,


&

Same word sounds different when you are young

When I was a KID


Pussy meant CAT,


Sex meant GENDER,


Bitch was a FEMALE DOG,


Dick was a NAME,

Why did Sardar G married a short girl

Sardar selected a short girl to marry.

Why?

Because guru ji told him

Sardar in airplane going to Bombay.

Sardar in airplane going to Bombay.

While it is landing he is excited and shouts: Bombay.. Bombay

Airhostess: Be silent.

Sardar: Ok. Ombay… Ombay!

Survey about food

Last month, a survey was conducted by the UN world-wide. The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a HUGE failure.

In Africa they did not know what "food" meant.

In Western Europe they did not know what "shortage" meant.

About some men...

There are 3 kinds of men in the world

1. Some remain single & make wonders happen,


2. Some have girlfriends & see wonders happen,

Kitchen Painting

There was a Blonde and her husband.

One morning the husband leaves for work and the blonde gets up. She's determined to prove to her husband that blondes arn't dumb, by painting the kitchen.

When her husband gets home he says to his wife "Honey why do you have 3 coats on?"

7 secrets of Success u can find in ur room:

1. Roof says aim high

2. Fan says be cool

3. Clock says every minute is precious

Types of girls...

There are basically 7 types of girls

1. HARD DISK Girls: Remember everything forever.
2. RAM Girls: Forgets about you the moment you turn her off.
3. SCREEN SAVER Girls: just for looking.

Angular Momentum

With reasonable assumptions about latitude and body shape, how much time might she gain them?  Note: whatever the answer, sunrise always comes too soon. (Also, is it worth it if she throws up?)

Why does a guy dig a hole and next one fills it?

There were two guys working for the city. One would dig a hole -- he would dig, dig, dig.

The other would come behind him and fill the hole -- fill, fill, fill. These two men worked furiously; one digging a hole, the other filling it up again.

A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn't believe how hard these men were working, but couldn't understand what they were doing. Finally he had to ask them.


He said to the hole digger, "I appreciate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole and your partner comes behind you and fills it up again!"

Have Fun With Numbers - Telephone Trick

[You may need to use a calculator - you might not be able to do this one in your head…]

This only works if you have a 7-digit phone number.

1. Key in the first three digits of your 7-digit phone number (NOT the area code);
2. Multiply by 80;
3. Add 1;
4. Multiply by 250;
5. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number;
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again;
7. Subtract 250;
8. Divide number by 2.

What you should have now is your actual phone number.

Top 1 Matching Gau khane katha about Nepal [ Joke ]

Try answering the questions and check your IQ:

Elderly playing Golf Joke

"How was your game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy.

"Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went," he answered.

"But you're 75 years old, Jack!" admonished his wife, "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?"

"But he's 85 and doesn't play golf anymore," protested Jack.

"But he's got perfect eyesight. He would watch the ball for you," Tracy pointed out.




The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack.

"Yup," Scott answered.

"Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.


"I forgot." 

Nightmare of Tech Support [ Computer Joke ]

Tech Support: What does the screen say now? 

Person: It says "Hit ENTER when ready". 

Tech Support: Well? 

Person: How do I know when it's ready?

Distributing Money by Ministers

झलनाथ,सुशील र प्रचण्ड हवाई उडानमा थिए,रु.१०० को एउटा नोट देखाउंदै सुशीलले भने "यो नोट मैले झारी दिएँ भने एक जना नेपाली खुसि हुन्छ !" झलनाथले रु.१० का १० ओटा नोट देखांउदै भने "मैले यी तल झारी दिएँ भने १० जना नेपालीहरु खुसि हुन्छन !" प्रचण्डले रु.१ का १०० नोट हरु देखाएर भने "मैले यी झारी दिएँ भने १०० जना कमरेडहरु खुसि हुन्छन !" पाइलट ले बिस्तारि भने "मैले यो हवाई जहाजनै झारी दिएँ भने ३ करोड नेपालि हरु खुसि हुन्छन !

Future Babies

A man and a Geine

A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said "I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double." The man agreed, and said "I wish I had a mansion." The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions. The man said "I would like a million dollars." The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars. Then the man said, "Scare me half to death." 

 

Three men were discussing about coincidences

Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, " my wife was reading a "tale of two cities" and she gave birth to twins"

"That’s funny", the second man remarked, "my wife was reading 'the three musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets"

The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!"

When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, " When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali baba and the forty Thieves"!!!

"The Man sleeping on the top of my wife is not giving birth to my child"

Once a man was travelling in a train with his wife and 4 yr old son. The child was sleeping on the top berth (berth= sleeping rack in a train), the wife on the middle one and the man himself on the lowest stair. At night the child complaint of "susu" and the man had to take him to the toilet outside their room. On returning back to their room however the man saw that another man was sleeping on the top. He called the conductor (ticket collector) and complained like this:

"The Man sleeping on the top of my wife is not giving birth to my child"

Is rain good?

A small boy and his father were having a walk in the country when it suddenly began to rain very hard． They did not have their umbrella with them， and there was nowhere to hide from the rain， so they were soon very wet， and the small boy did not feel very happy． 


For a long time while they were walking home through the rain， the boy was thinking． Then at last he turned to his father and said to him，“Why does it rain， Father？ It isn't very nice， is it？” 

“No， it isn't very nice， but it's very useful，Tom，”answered his father．“It rains to make the fruit and the vegetables grow for us， and to make the grass grow for the cows and sheep．”

Tom thought about this for a few seconds， and then he said，“Then，why does it rain on the road too， Father？”

Phone at midnight

A husband and his wife were sound asleep when suddenly the phone rang.


The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? How the heck do I know? What do I look like, a weatherman?" He then slammed the phone down and settled into bed.


"Who was that?" asked his wife.


"I don't know. It was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."

Girl with Stetescope

An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then-four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, gee, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps and be a doctor! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?" 

Stuffs Available in Nepal

Email from Heaven

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, he did his best to type it in from memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

DEAREST WIFE: JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.

Difference between "Finished" and "Complete"

Difference between "Finished" and "Complete"
...
...
...
...
...

Marry the right person, and you’re ‘complete’

Marry the wrong person, and you’re ‘finished’

Official Google Blog: Now accepting student applications for Google Summer of Code

Official Google Blog: Now accepting student applications for Google Summer of Code

The "less" marking things in our life..

I found it on facebook... my friends shared it. thnx for sharing...

Our communication – wireless
Our phones - cordless
Our cooking - fireless
Our food - fatless
Our sweets – sugarless
Our labor - effortless
Our relations - fruitless
Our attitude - careless
Our feelings - heartless
Our politics - shameless
Our education - worthless
Our mistakes - countless
Our arguments – baseless
Our youth - jobless
Our boss - brainless
Our jobs – thankless
Our salaries - less and less
Our needs - endless
Our situation - hopeless

Our solution: ???