Right Brain vs Left Brain

...do you see the dancer turning clockwise or anti-clockwise?

If clockwise, then you use more of the right side of the brain and vice versa.

Most of us would see the dancer turning anti-clockwise though you can try to focus and change the direction; see if you can do it.

LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS:
uses logic
detail oriented
facts rule
words and language
present and past
math and science
can comprehend
knowing
acknowledges
order/pattern perception
knows object name
reality based
forms strategies
practical
safe

RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS:
uses feeling
"big picture" oriented
imagination rules
symbols and images
present and future
philosophy & religion
can "get it" (i.e. meaning)
believes
appreciates
spatial perception
knows object function
fantasy based
presents possibilities
impetuous
risk taking

How's that? :D

What gender is "Computer"? Male or Female?

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
- "House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa". "Pencil", however, is masculine: "el lápiz."
A student asked what gender is 'computer? Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ("el computador"), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.
(Guys, that's a joke!)

Marriage Complications: Classic Computer Wedding Joke

Lawyers in pub...

Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.

Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'

The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.

A will of Robert...

Robert went to his lawyer and said, 'I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it.' The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied, 'Not a problem, leave it all to me.'

Robert looked somewhat upset and said, 'Well, I knew you were going to take a big portion, but I would like to leave a little to my family too!'

A linguistics professor

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.

'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'

A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'

BoBBY n Krishna....

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.

His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.

Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker..

He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.

Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.

Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.

Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.

Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.

Then write a letter to krishna and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday.

Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write krishna a letter.

************************************************************************************

Letter 1

Dear krishna,

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday.

I want a red one.

Your friend,

Bobby

**************

Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, So he tore up the letter and started over.

************************************************************************************

Letter 2

Dear krishna,

This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like A red bike for my birthday... Thank you.

Your friend,

Bobby

************************************************************************************

Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.

************************************************************************************

Letter 3

Dear krishna,

I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for
my
birthday.

Bobby

************************************************************************************

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to krishna either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.

************************************************************************************

Letter 4

krishna,

I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.

Please! Thank you,

Bobby

************************************************************************************

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.

Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to temple.

Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.

Just be home in time for dinner, Bobby's mother told him.

Bobby walked down the street to the temple on the corner.

Little Bobby went into the temple and up to the altar.

He looked around to see if anyone was there.

Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the radha.

He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the temple, down the street, into the house, and up to his room.

He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.

Bobby began to write his letter to krishna.

************************************************************************************

Letter 5

krishna,

I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR GIRLFRIEND. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!

Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings:

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

3. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

4. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that

everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is

defeated by feminine water-power ..

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life...

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor

degree and a woman gains her master degree.

19. Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be

spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in

midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father : A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

30.. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with

his bills.

31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails

Supernatural Power

There was this case in this hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed on Friday mornings around 9am regardless of their age, gender, medical history or medical condition.


This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had to do with the supernatural: Why did death occur at that same bed around the same time every Friday?


So the doctors decided to go down to that particular ward to investigate the cause of the deaths.



Come Friday morning, everyone at the hospital ward nervously waited for the terrible phenomenon to occur again. The new (unknowing) patient laid there.


Some doctors held wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil...and they waited.


8am, the patient was still alive...


8.30am...still breathing...


Just before the 'cursed' time, the door to the ward swung open...


Then At Exact 9.00 Am, the part-time Friday cleaner, comes in and unplugs the life support system so that she can use the vacuum cleaner!

Hospital Window

A great note for all to read it will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking




Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.


Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.



The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.



The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.


As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.



One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.


Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.




Days and weeks passed.

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One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.


As soon as it seemed appropriate, the otherman asked if he could be moved next to thewindow. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he wascomfortable, she left him alone.


Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.



He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.



It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window



The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.



She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

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Epilogue:



There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.



Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.


If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.


"Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

Chinese Call Center

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me..

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to
me.. Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan .. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But
what's this urgent matter
about?

Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan
was involved in an accident.
Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital.
Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the
hospital, then the accident isn't
an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for
this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Ree ..

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!!

Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree ..

Caller: Oh .....God.... ...

From --
Good Wan!

Wedding saving passbook

Monica married Nick this day. At the end of the wedding party, Monica's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook with Rs.1000 deposit amount.

Mother: 'Monica, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Nick.

When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'


Monica shared this with Nick when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made. This was what they did after certain time:

* 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Nick after marriage
* 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Monica
* 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
* 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Monica got pregnant
* 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Nick got promoted
* ..... And so on...


However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the nastiest people in the world.... No more love...Kind of typical nowadays, huh?

One day Monica talked to her Mother: 'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!"


Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first.

Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'


Monica thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account. While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home.

When she was home, she handed the passbook to Nick, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.


The next day, Nick gave the passbook back to Monica. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.'


They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe. Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.

"When you fall in any way, don't see the place where you fell instead see the place from where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes."

Wishful thinking

Gwen was one of those UGLY women, so she never had a boyfriend.

So she went to a psychic for help.



Honey! - said the psychic. You will not have luck in love in this life.

But after death, you will be a much desired woman and all men will fall at

your feet.



Gwen left very happy and so excited, as she went over a bridge she

thought: "The sooner I die, the sooner my next life begins"

She decided to jump off the bridge right away.

But, incredibly Gwen didn't die!

She fell on the back of a truck full of bananas; she lost her senses and fainted.

As soon as she recovered, still drowsy and not being able to see very well,

and not knowing where she was, she started touching her surroundings.

Feeling all the bananas she mumbled with a huge smile on her face and

said:

"GENTLEMEN, PLEASE!,... ONE AT A TIME!"

Extra Marital Affairs

The 1st Affair:

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon."

"You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!"

The 2nd Affair:

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"

The 3rd Affair:

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."

"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too."

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."

The 4th Affair:

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."

"One Cent?" the man thought.
He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"

"A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied,
"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

The 5th Affair:

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."

Software Engineer and his wife...

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.


Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.


Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.


Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.


Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.


Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.


Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.


Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.


Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.


Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.


Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.


Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.


Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.


Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.


Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer.

Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings:

Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings:

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

3. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

4. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is
defeated by feminine water-power ..

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life...

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor
degree and a woman gains her master degree.

19. Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be
spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in
midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father : A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

30.. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with
his bills.

31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails

How Poor we are...

HOW POOR WE ARE? (VERY NICE)

Please forward this mail to all of your friends

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.


They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, 'How was the
trip?'

'It was great, Dad.'

'Did you see how poor people live?' the father asked.

'Oh yeah,' said the son.
'So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?' asked the father

The son answered:

'I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.'

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, 'Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.'

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?

Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

'Life is too short and friends are too few.'

Never lose your value

Know your True Value! (Read & Forward Please)

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a 500 $ note. In the room of 200 Peoples,

He asked, "Who would like this 500 $note?"

Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this note to one of you but first let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple the note up.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?"

And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty.

"Now who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson.

No matter what I did to the money.

You still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth500 $/-.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened or what will happen.

Never lose your value.

You are special. Don't ever forget it! Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams.

"VALUE HAS A VALUE ONLY IF ITS VALUE IS VALUED"

Always allow the Boss 2 speak first

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss
are on their way to a meeting.
On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost says,
"Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three,
I will allow one wish each"

So the eager senior manager shouted,
"I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries."
Pufffff. and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pufffff. and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said,
"I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."



MORAL OF THE STORY IS:
"ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"

Sardar n Loot

Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.
Nxt day Headline:Blood Bank lutya gya

Counple Arguing

A Couple Were Arguing.

Wife: You Dont Like Anybody In My Family.

Husband: Not True, I Like Your Mother-In-Law Better Than My Mother-In-Law!

Sardarji calls Nepal Airlines.

Sardar: "How long does it take to fly to Pokhara?"

Receptionist: "Just a sec, Sir"

Sardar: "Thank you." and hangs up

A Fact About Women:

They Can See A Hair Of A Girl On Their Husband's Coat From 20 Meters Away,

But They Can't See A Pillar From Two Meters While Parking A Car..

Are you daughter of....

A Little Girl Whn Askd Her Name, Wud Rply-"I'm Mr. David's Daughter"

Her Mother Told Her This Was Wrong, She Must Say-"I'm Jenifer David"

The Vicar Spoke 2 Her In Sunday School & Said

"Aren't U Mr. David's Daughter?" Wid Her Mom Standing Jst Away, She Replied
"I Thought I Was Bt Mummy Says I'm Not" ;->

Nepali राष्ट्रिय गान as per todays political senario

राष्ट्रिय गान

सयौं थुँगा प्रचन्डको जुँगा तान्ने हामी नेपाली
सार्वभौम भई फैलिएका YCL र माओवादी ।

बन्द हड्ताल कोटी कोटी फोहोरको आँचल
जो कोहि वादी आए पनि भारतकै दलाल ।

कान्ति छैन शान्ति छैन अभावै छ केवल
नेपालीपन बाँकि छैन नामको मात्रै नेपाल ।

गुटवन्दी र फुटवन्दी छ समस्या छन् विशाल
प्रतिगामि राष्ट्र हाम्रो कठै विचरा नेपाल !!!

Source: Nepali Frens

Brilliant Joke...

An absolutely Brilliant Joke, ENJOY!!! A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times of it!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM- she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. " The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM- she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like to have a mild heart attack." Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them. Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good! Male readers: Please scroll down. The man had a heart attack ten times "milder" than his wife!!! Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really smart . Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!! You can forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humour :) ENJOY....................

Quote Revised: If you Love Someone...

*THE ORIGINAL QUOTE


If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was....


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THE NEW VERSIONS.... .


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Pessimist:


If you love someone,
Set her free ............ .....
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was


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Optimist:


If you love someone,
Set her free ............ .....
Don't worry, she will come back.


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Suspicious:


If you love someone,
Set her free ............ .....
If she ever comes back, ask her why.


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Playful:


If you love someone,
Set her free ............ .....
*If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her
Free again, repeat *


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Bill Gates :


If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees but
Tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.


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Finance expert :


If you love someone
Set her free
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

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Good Sales Man [Jai Machli Pakar]

Ek Shopping Mall ne naya Gujarati Salesman hire kiya. Sale barhne lagi...din dugni, raat chauguni.

Boss ne socha is larke se milna chahyea. Boss Mall par aaya, usne dekha larka ek customer ko fishing-rod bechraha tha.

Woh door khara ho kar hi usko customer se deal karte dekhne laga. Larke ne fishing-rod bech di. Customer ne kaha kitne rupaye, larka bola Rs.800/-.

Yeh kahkar larke ne customer ke Shoes dekhe aur bola,

"itne Mehange shoes pahankar fishing karne jayenge?

ek Sport shoe bhi kharid lijiye, "

customer ne sport shoes bhi kharid liye.

Ab larke ne kaha

"Dariya kinare dhoop mein baithna parega,

ek cap bhi kharid lijiye to theek rehega, "

customer ne cap bhi kharid li.

Ab larke ne kaha,

"machli pakarne mein bahut intezar karna parega,

kuch eatables, wafer, biscuits, bhi le jayiye,"

customer ne woh bhi khari d liye.

Larka bola "

machli pakrenge to rakhenge kahan ? "

Yeh ek Rs.100/- ki basket bhi le lijiye,

customer ne woh bhi kharid li. Ab total bill bana Rs.2000/- ka.

Boss bahut khush hua. Usne larke ko bulaya aur kaha, tum to kamal ke salesman ho. Woh aadmi fishing rod kharidane ayaa... aur tumane usey itna sara samaan bech diya, very good.

Larka bola..."Sir, woh aadmi to "Stayfree" napkin kharidane ayaa tha apni biwi ke liye, meine kaha, char din tu ghar par kya karega,

"Jaa Machli Pakar"

A Genie and a programmer

A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”

The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”

The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millenia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”

The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”

At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”

Computer Programmer and a Gal ... :)

A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you and do Anything you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally the frog asked, "What is it? I've told you I'm a beautiful Princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do Anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The boy said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool."

Love Humour: Before and After Marriage

Before Marriage

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?

He: Of course! Over and over!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why are you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Every chance I get!

She: Will you hit me?

He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes.

She: Darling!

After marriage...

Simply read from bottom to top.